Miss U so MUCH MOMMY

 

Mommy’s b-day coming up

One year after she passed away

So I’m challenging myself now

If I could be brave enough to watch her funeral video coverage

It’s a test if I already moved on, and ready to take other challenges

Hmm like new work perhaps…

So I did

Inserted the dvd on my lappy

Hmm, so the videographer used Adobe Premiere

It’s a good thing that my uncle took care of the videographer

Coz I almost volunteered doing the movie myself

And that would be the worst decision I would have made.

Coz I wouldn’t be able o keep that promise

Couldn’t even open the DVD case when it was first handed to me

Why reminisce with the pain?

So I skipped into some parts..boring..boring

And skipped again, not really playing the DVD continuously

And there now I see myself.. doing the Eulogy

Darn,I look fat, so I skip again

And now I’m crying (ok just teary-eyed with a cache on my voice)

Crap,  I look shit

Skip..skip…skip, finished

Now I can move on…

Or…

Senti Mode muna,kahit ngayon lang for the last time, or……….. let myself magsenti at least once a year? (every mom’s bday), or ……..twice a year ?(mom’s b-day and death anniv) or……… thrice (mom’s B-day, death anniv, Christmas) or ………….four times (mom’s B-day, death anniv, Christmas, my b-day) or…….. many times when I just feel the urge to miss her badly….

      Just like now, missing you so much , coz I just had this freakish incident na , thankfully whew! Natapos din. Thanks to my savior “muaaah” (that’s my heroic kiss to u). Times like this ,i wish ur still here ...oh,well..

Someday I'll understand why but for now I'll just deal with how (how not to get bored? lol). Seriously, I have to start looking for a job. This self-declared hibernation mode is now ending.

And that’s the optimistic side of me speaking….
                                and now I need a hug (and this is me asking for “inuman na!” hehe)